I've been so many places in my life and time
I've sung a lot of songs and I've made some bad climbs
I've acted out my life in stages with ten thousand people watching
Oh, but we're alone now and I'm singing this song for you
I know your image of me is what I hope to be, I've treated you unkindly
Oh, but Darling can't you see that, there's no one more important to me
Baby, baby, can't you see through me, 'cause we're alone now
And I'm singing this song to you, you taught me precious secrets
Of a true love withholding nothing, you came out in front
When I was hiding, yeah, yeah, but now its so much better
If my words don't quite come together, please listen to the melody
'Cause my love is in there somewhere hiding
I love you in a place where there is no space or time, I love you for my life
You are a friend of mine, and when my life is over
Remember, remember, remember when we were together
And we are alone now, and I was singing this song to you
We were alone, and I was singing, yeah singing
We were alone, and I was singing this song for you
Singing my song, I'm singing my song for you
Micheal BubleÂ
It hurts to find out that the minute new people are found, you are thrown aside like garbage. You are promised one thing after another but how many of those promises are filled and done. I am promised one thing again… but will it actually happen? Trust… something that you’ve taken away from yourself over and over again. Confusion….? You never know how to set your priorities… then i am left to hang and survive on my own.
I’ve been at every point of your life when it was difficult… and I was left to fend for myself. It’s funny, how you throw me aside after finding friends and expect me to stand aside quietly. Never thinking of other people and what you will lose. Never fighting for what is important.
Why did I fight so long and hard, only to lose it again?
I wonder whether you’ve ever felt guilt…. or pain… or regret…..
as much as I love… i hate as well… it is only suffering that I hope u to have… it’s a terrible thought… but can you blame me?
should i give up now and release myself from the chains that have restraint my heart? should i continue to fight for someone that has no love for anyone but herself?
as much as i love… i regret… why should i promise anything to you when you have done nothing but break promises?
how i deal with my pain is mine to deal with… if you do not care in the first place then it is something you should let me do on my own… in my own way. You say it hurts you when i do it… does it??? I wonder how much…. cause it must be very little since at the end it is you that you care about.
You were never a person to speak of feelings… that’s why it was always hard for me…
I wonder… how much guilt and regret will fill your heart when the ones close to you dies…Â the ones you take advantage of… the ones you say you love but never show it…
That book always filled your curiousty…. well maybe u will get to see it sooner than i said u would….
wouldn’t that make you happier? well it better… cause then life would have been wasted for you…
Hold me tight
& never let me go,
catch my tears
& take my fears away.
Kiss me goodnight
& take away my pain.
Hold my hand
& stand strong in times of difficulty.
Stay true to our love…
love me like you’ve never loved before.
Hurt me no more.
Our flower has bloomed!!! It’s been looking beautiful every day…. i hope it’ll stay this way for the next few days…. just love it. I’m loving it… this has been the longest lasting and most beautiful flower I’ve ever gotten. Hee… love you baby… even in all this insanity of mine… there’s one thing i do know for sure… i love you… thank you.
We barely get to see each other…
barely talk on the phone anymore…
don’t sms as often as we use to….
and when we do get to talk on phone,
it’s only for like 10 mins…
10 fucking minutes!
how do I know…?
cause that’s the amount of time we spent on the phone today…
so fucking pissed off right now…
school’s tougher than usually for her…
and I know how the F&B line works…
wished I didn’t…
then she’s made friends…
goes out playing pool and going over to friend’s places
I don’t even know about unless I ask…
if i don’t then i’m just fucking sitting around in the dark.
*sigh*
I know she says i’m thinking too much…
and that things are fine…
but I’m just not use to so little time together…
even the fact that she doesn’t seem to be bothered if we drift apart is scaring me…
just feeling so fucked up right now…
just wanna scream till my lungs burst…
sit on the edge of a cliff till my head is filled emptiness….
drown my sorrows and fill my blood with salt water….
thinking too much…. suffering on my own… driving myself to my own death…
can loving someone be so hard? can love be so insecure?
i need a break… from school… from family… from everything that’s been stressing me out… need time to relax and get my body, head and heart on the right path again…
dada…. what am i going to do? how? *sigh*… think i have like super super low self esteem or……..
just kill me now… pls…
Been studying in school almost everyday in preparation for my econs… i just don’t know if i have studied enough. I haven’t even touched my accounts which is only 2 days after my econs. Well, I’m just hoping for the best… of course with studying no doubt.
Had my CRS written test yesterday…. shaun and i were told by our econs tutor that we are allowed to bring a dictonary to the test…. but of course our CRS tutor didn’t tell us…. so anyway everyone did the test without a dictonary. Hopefully it’ll turn out good… I need at least 81 for the paper to get my A. I’m really hoping for an A for CRS….. maybe a B+ for IDEAS… and an A for MOB…. well… keeping my fingerscrossed.
Fariza and I went for that ‘Peer Mentoring’ talk thing… haha… it’s some new programme where students are picked to help out other students in their english…. mainly foreign kids. Pretty cool…. and we get CCA point and if we stay for more than 2 sems, we can get a testimonial…. the testi is something i want to get. I have to clock in like 30 hours in one sem… which is like 2 hours a week. We thought it wasn’t too bad… so we might be giving it a try.
Right, so baby’s been really busy with school recently… *sigh*… to my amazement, Clementi’s F&B course is actually quiet strict…. if students are late more than 3 times, will get kicked out…. if they are absent without a letter…. kicked out. And they can’t use handphones during classes… the teacher will actually take it away. It’s a lot more strict than Bishan ever was…. well i guess it’s good… gives the ite students some responsiblity and discipline. But all this has taken time away from me and da… On one hand, it’s ok… cause then we both have time to study… but on the other hand, we don’t have enough time with each other. Hopefully, it’ll all be ok.
Da bought me a pink rose yesterday….
I’ve been like overly sensitive in the last 2 days… I’ve been complaining and being paranoid continously…. making a big fuss over every little thing. I think I was just being mental… so yesterday while out with Bu, da came to meet me and she bought me a pink rose… hee… so sweet!!
Then today I went to school to study… and I managed to get 2 topics done… well the notes… then da seemed to have finished late so when I called her at 6+ to find out where she was…. haha… turned out she was in AMK!!! She took a bus from sch to hougang…. hee… so i rushed back to see her….. hee….
ok ok, so i’m being absolutely paranoid…. and she’s very sweet..
This is one of the prettiest flowers she’s given me so far…. thank u baby…love it…
Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I’ve start
But can’t complete
Listen, to the sound from deep within
It’s only beginning
To find release
Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won’t
Listen….
[Chorus]
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I’m not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I’m done believin you
You don’t know what I’m feelin
I’m more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I’d thought had died
Sooo long ago
Ohh I’m free now and my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your arms
All cause you won’t
Listen…
[Chorus]
I don’t know where I belong
But i’ll be movin on
If you don’t….
If you won’t….
LISTEN!!!…
To the song here in my heart
A melody I’ve start
But I will complete
Oh,
Now i’m done believin you
You dont know what I’m feelin
I’m more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my ownn…
Beyonce (DREAMGIRLS OST)
